By William R. Clough, D.Min.
Training Director
The Thanksgiving to New Year’s season is a wonderful time. But it has its share of hazards to physical and mental health. We might be tempted to overprepare, overeat, overdrink, or overspend. We might feel pressured to do too much, including more time with family and friends than we – or they – are equipped to handle. The holidays can turn unhappy when our ideals fail to live up to reality. Here are some tips for coping:
Remember with gratitude. It’s appropriate that the season kicks off with Thanksgiving. Gratitude has been shown to improve mental health, shifting the stories we tell ourselves from victimhood and loss to narratives of celebration on the journey through life. Thanking those who have supported you is a good exercise. Tell people who you appreciate that you appreciate them. If you’ve suffered loss this year, it’s a time to reflect on what you’re grateful for, including the loved ones, places, and things you have cherished over the years.
Be realistic. If you make a list of all the things you hope to accomplish you might feel overwhelmed. Making a list of reasonable goals for each day is more manageable, and it’s okay to not meet your goals for any given day. They’re your goals; you can change them. You can say “no” to plans that don’t fit into your schedule or prove problematic. Children especially need gentle pacing and rest; overstimulation is more harassing than hospitable.
Family dynamics are complex. When you reconnect with someone you haven’t seen in a while you may idealize the relationship. But loved ones probably still have the characteristics, both delightful and exasperating, they’ve always had. Easy does it. Take time to listen as part of reconnecting; honor their needs but take care of yourself too. Good natured humor is healing. The trick of looking at your situation as if you were in a sitcom sometimes helps.
Keep up healthy habits. Take advantage of a Florida winter to walk outside, bike, go to the beach. Daily exercise reduces stress and improves your overall physical health. At least it mitigates the effects of the weight gain season. Eat and drink in moderation and choose the healthier options to enjoy. Avoid alcohol and drugs, including too much caffeine. In small quantities they may be pleasurable, but they can easily become more irritating than helpful.
Practice relaxation and mindfulness. Deep breathing, meditation, scripture reading, and progressive muscle relaxation are good ways to calm yourself. Losing yourself in the sights and sounds of the season, the music and the lights and the special events can be restorative.
Get enough sleep. Shakespeare put it best, “Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care, The death of each day’s life, sore labor’s bath, Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course, Chief nourisher in life’s feast.” (Macbeth, 2.2.34-37)
Have someone to talk to. Reliable friends and mental health professionals can help you vent, get perspective, and even pinpoint stressors to be avoided.
And remember it really is a wonderful time of year filled with delightful experiences and, if properly navigated, pleasant memories.